session #009: a hiatus by any other name....

Still leaves you with a motherfucking backlog. Yes, you clamoring assgoblins, I'm back, and yes, I've seen a fuckload of movies. Further evidence that just like you, I have no life whatsoever. Fucking Christ. Someone please shoot me.

....once I finish this update. I'd rather not die at the computer. It'd be kinda, y'know, lame.

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Blade Runner

You remember seeing this movie? At, like, 15? And so not getting it at all? That was because you were retarded. This movie is the very essence of cyberpunk awesomeness, distilled into film. It's also the only existing proof that Harrison Ford can play a complex character, so it's worth watching just for that.

Vanishing Point

You wouldn't think you could manage to fuck up a movie about a guy trying to get from Chicago to San Francisco in three days. Especially if it has the sheriff from Blazing Saddles in it, and wonderfully brilliant car chases. Unfortunately, though, someone decided to try to attach a plot absolutely chock-full of bullshit to this one, and some kind of trite bullshit ending involving bulldozers. So...yeah. They managed to.

Visitor Q

.......the....horror.....the...horror.......

"It's not a miracle of life! It's SHIT!"

Sin City

Robert Rodriguez does something unknown in Hollywood up to this point and actually gets Frank Miller to help him adapt Frank's graphic novels. This, Hollywood, is called using your brain.

The result is an absolutely wonderful and endlessly quotable bucket of modern noir goodness. There is no way not to recommend it. GO! SEE! NOW!

Ley Lines

....Jesus. A Takashi Miike movie that's actually mediocre and hard to remember, but easy to watch? Is nothing sacred anymore? I mean...shit, man...just....shit...

Ashes and Diamonds

A Polish film about post-WWII Poland with political intrigue and a really badass guy in sunglasses. Kinda like Jean-Luc Godard's Band of Outsiders without all the Frenchiness and with more awesome.

The Most Terrible Time In My Life

Being a private eye in Japan just fucking sucks. Being a doomed private eye who has to chase after a gang calling themselves the "New Japs" is even worse. However, the film itself is an entertaining little noir entry in the annals of Japanese cinema.

Moon Child

WHO GAVE GACKT A CAMERA?!??! AND A SCRIPT?!!

MORE IMPORTANTLY, WHO GAVE THAT NUTCASE A MOTHERFUCKING SET OF MATRIX GUNS?!?

....WHEN I FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE, YOUR ASS IS MINE, BITCH.